A fact that you should know..

I do not like to share the same things as other.

You’re just like me. I am very selfish, especially of you.

That is why we're two of a kind. 

Woot!

Im back sweethearts and bitches!

Ah, this week has been real good. I just couldn’t ask for more.
Let’s see,

• Kyvern’s birthday party was great. We had fun camwhoring anyways. And I just love love love meeting all my babies! You just wont know how it feels when you see them again after so so so long and we would *screams* and run up to each other and *hugs*.
• Rebecca and Erwin is down to KL!! wheeee~ Im so glad Becky is here. I just have got lots to say to her. We so need to catch up with each other alot! And and of coz, shopping~ and movies!
• Christmas is here. haha! Even so if I dont really celebrate, I just like the atmosphere. Everywhere is full of christmas decorations and it feels just great. Let’s go out on christmas baby!
• Things has been going just right between us. Thank you for not hurting me. And thank you for being such a sweetheart. You definitely made me felt much better.

Didnt you?

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to,doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

Really?

.

Did you ever realize, sometimes those words you said, those words that you might take it as some random teasing or those words that you think it never really matters had somehow rip my heart off?

P/S: You never did treat me like this before. </3

Lately,

I’ve been having hard time sleeping at night. I’ll turn my body and change positions every 5 to 10 minutes and my eyes are still wide open, staring blankly in the dark. Then shitty thoughts will start piling up in my head and sometimes I couldnt help but to cry it all out. Things aren’t going perfect lately. Things used to be so simple but why it have to be so complicated now? Aren’t we supposed to live life? Why am I not? FML.

I think I need to go out, like ALOT. Hanging out with my girlfriends will help. Im waiting for Rebecca, my love! to come over to Malaysia. Ah, speaking about it, my cousins are coming over on the 12th. That means shopping! And I have to catch up alot with Erwin! hehe! But Ian isn’t coming over. Lol. Talking bout him reminds me of those days when I was so ‘in love’ with him. It was just some stupid little crush because of some stupid little puppy lovey convo we had and I fell for it. hah hah! And the fact that he’s so tall, like what..6′2 got me more crazzze over him! Didnt I mentioned I have a thing thing for tall guys? wheee~

This saturday is Kyvern’s birthday party. What to get what to get for her? Hmmm.. Will be going out with Jojo to get. Wheee!

*

P/S: Where are you little dragon?

Today, i miss you more.

We were walking just like how we used to. But he wasnt holding my hand. That was already enough to break me into pieces. My heart like hurtling drum beat.
“Should I hold his hand?“
But every time I thought of grabbing his hand my palm ball into fist. I just realize I’ve not try holding his. It was always him who made the first move. Now I don’t know how to do it.

“Now what?” I thought, “Now what?“
I’m about to cry. I dont dare to look at him. I peeped from the edge of my eye.
“Shit, he’s looking.“
His stare was rather confused. I looked away and i couldnt think of a single shit. I was nervous, so nervous. Those inconstant breathe taken almost took my life away.

He’s walking ahead of me now. I stared blankly at his back and whispered, “I missed you“.
I gasped when he turned back. He waited for me and then held my hand and chuckles. Then the smile leaves his pretty face and now he looked concerned.
“Why?“

I looked at him miserably.
“I don’t know..“
I didnt realized I was already tearing up until he wiped them tears off my cheek. He pulled me to him and pats my head, “Shh.. don’t cry.“
Then he moved closer and kiss me gently.
“I miss you,” he whispered to my ears.
I hugged him tighter and cried, “I missed you too. All this while, I’ve missed you.“

And between the moment where I’m about to open my eyes and came back to reality and the moment when I’m still lying in his embrace, I could still feel the warmth of his skin pressing against mine. I still can feel his breathe brushing through my cheek. Then it all went off just in a split second. NO!! I tried closing my eyes again, wishing to fall back asleep and see him again but it just never happen.

But, I don’t remember I know this guy, why do I feel like I know him? He don’t look like someone I knew but he feel like someone familiar.

Ahh, interesting!

Ashley was right,

Love at this age is bullshit.

Even so love isn’t appropriate for now, but I do believe that the feelings are true. It might work out a relationship. But at the end, it still go separate ways. No matter how strong your relationships are, sometimes you just can’t defeat reality, no? And then you have to give it all up and live in reality, full of grieves. Then you started whining, why fall in love? You know it will be so happy and the condition is that it will be so sad too.

I don’t know why some people regret falling in love. And then, they curse their ex’s for leaving them with no apparent reason or lame excuses and try to hurt them back just like how they were hurt previously. Pathetic much? What about the memories? Dont you miss them? Why bother living in such agony and hatred?

I dont hate. I dont complaint. Because all this heartaches, I asked for it and I dont regret. I like the memories. And i’ll keep it forever.  And as I stated above, love and relationships are ridiculous right now, not till I leave high school.
I’m only 16, and I am going to live life.
I’ll still love you, sweetheart. But now that I understand. Though, can you promise me that whenever I need you, you would be here for me?
We shall try this all over again someday. And for now, I’m gonna give up everything that could possibly break me.

P/S: I think I like the way we are right now. Islysfm. (:

What a day out!

Went out with a very, very big group of people but the mainly hung out with Jojo and Sheryll. Because it’s been ages since I see them both hot lassy!

Reached there with Deb, Mei and Shangeetha then meet up with Shon, YinHao, Johnson and some other dudes.
Shon was, emo all the time probably because of the whole exgf drama. sighs..

Met someone new at the cinema, kind of a egoistic. But It’s okay coz anyhow i wont look up on you. (:

Sheryll and Jojo are late for New Moon. x_x But nevermind. I literally knew wad’s gonna happen. heh.
Robert is so hideous. Im sorry! And Lautner is very handsome. But Im neither side. Because I think the best looking is Carlisle, Edward’s dad! :D
Sowie team Edward and Jacob. Ooops!

Then, Jojo, Sheryll and me went to Sushi Zanmai for lunch. I didnt eat coz I had it earlier with deb, mei and shangeetha.
Its nice having girls talk. We talked and talked for like almost 2 hours. You see? This is wad happens when Jeanny meet Jojo. LOL.

Came back, went to Hui Min’s hse for a while coz they thought they gonna have a bbq party… but it rained. ):
So lepaked and talk n talk with huimin. THen she drive me back. ::D Thank you Hui Min!!!!!! (:

Overall, today was great!

 

What I’ve been up to..

 

• Watched The Box yesterday. 3/5. It wasnt our plan at first though.. But because 2012 was as usual, full and I dont wanna catch New Moon with my sisters.
  It was quite alright as Cameron Diaz was always my all-time-favourite and I’d loveed James Marsden since that time when I watch 27 dresses with Jojo about 2 years ago.
• Went to Concerto Concert Festival yesterday night. A concert hold by my current music school. It was nice watching all kinds of bands. But i still enjoy Julian and his brother’s band, Beeyatch. (Yes, what a name.) Because Im like a #1 fan of Brian, Julian’s younger brother which is only 12 and yet he plays like.. *drop-jaws*. A 12 years old isn’t supposed to play so well.
• Ah, I just painted my nails turquoise.
• I found a guy who would watch New Moon with me! And he is the one who want me to watch with him. Ily!
• Tuitions are going to kill me on December! We shall see.

Will you?

Will you still stand by me, hold me, kiss me, embrace me, like me, tease me, bite me, squeeze me, annoys me, amuse me, pamper me, love me just like u always do?

*

“Don’t you love me?”
No.

Lol, I totally died!
Hah hah. Kill me!

Sayang,

Masih adakah cahaya rindumu
yang dulu selalu cerminkan hatimu,
Aku takkan bisa menghapus dirimu,
meskipun kulihat kini kau diseberang sana..

Andai akhirnya kau tak juga kembali,
Aku tetap sendiri menjaga hati..

Sejujurnya, diriku masih mengharapkanmu.

I’ve never felt this way..
):